Just some random funny pics, SFW.--via Fark.

- posted by Jasper @ 9:20 PM 0 comments

 
Believe it...or not
Oscar winner Jack Palance dead at 87
POSTED: 10:04 a.m. EST, November 11, 2006
LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Actor Jack Palance, who won an Oscar with his comedic self-parody in 1991's "City Slickers," died Friday.

Sad, yes but there are some interesting facts in this story I didn't know about the guy. And some good quotes:
"Most of the stuff I do is garbage," he once told a reporter, adding that most of the directors he worked with were incompetent, too. "Most of them shouldn't even be directing traffic," he said.
He was a professional heavyweight boxer in the early 1940s.
Palance was wounded in World War II and received a Purple Heart.
His acting break came after the war as Marlon Brando's understudy in "Streetcar Named Desire."
- posted by Jasper @ 9:06 PM 0 comments

 
LOST fan?
All episodes viewable online, including seaseon 3. For some reason there's one missing in season 1, but still nice if you're a fan. Oh, and there are some other shows there too...
24, Arrested Development, Band Of Brothers, Battlestar Galactica , Celebrity Deathmatch, Chapelle's Show, Desperate Housewives , Heroes, Jackass, Lost In Space, Mind Of Mencia, My Name Is Earl, Nip/Tuc, Oz, Prison Break, Roswell, Scrubs, Seinfeld, The Black Adder, The Office, The Tick, Trailerpark Boys, Vanished, X-Files...etc.
- posted by Jasper @ 1:39 PM 0 comments

 
Breast enhancement gum. Yes, gum.

Breast enhancement - naturally

A JAPANESE company claims to have developed a 100 per cent natural chewing gum able to increase the size, shape and firmness of women's breasts naturally.

The main ingredient, a wild plant called pueraria mirifica, grows in Thailand and contains a number of natural compounds, called phytoestrogens, which mimic the effects of the female hormone oestrogen. Tests carried out by Thailand's Chulalongkorn University found pueraria mirifica was able to enhance breast size by 80 per cent, and further tests carried out in England found that the plant also had a beneficial effect on the skin and hair, as reported by the BBC, medical journals and other news outlets.....
So the race is off.....product name suggestions anyone?

So far I like: Milk Scuds, Puppy Chow, Knockerlicious, Bazookas, Chicktits...

- posted by Jasper @ 11:50 AM 4 comments

 
Send and email or voicemail from Samuel Jackson!
Snakes on a plane sounds like a terrible idea for a movie, but it might just turn out to be so bad that people see it. Anyway, being able to send a message to someone from Samuel Jackson is just too cool.
- posted by Jasper @ 8:21 AM 0 comments

 
All hail the FSM!!!
I’m really thinking this may be worth looking into….

-Pastafarian heaven includes at least one "beer volcano" and one stripper factory.
-According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians.
-The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" are the Pastafarian equivalent of the Ten Commandments. They originate from the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. According to Pastafarianism, they were given to Pirate Mosey, the FSM equivalent of Moses, by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. There were originally ten, but two were dropped "on the way down the mountain". The lack of the two last I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts supposedly partly accounts for Pastafarians' self-proclaimed flimsy moral standards.

Want to see how stupid people and religion should never be combined? Read the FSM creator’s hate mail with the 'All hail the FSM!!!" link.

I’d hope that at least some of that is a joke, but then again there are a lot of idiots out there.
Some choice bits:
"...the Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible."

"Technology, hell we'd be better of without it anyways. I hope to someday prove Darwinian philosophy and be able to have my dog recite Shakespeare to me. Then I will believe Evolution is true. Until then....its all a big damn joke. Charles Darwin went insane when he was 28 anyways (didn't know that did you?) Let me put it this way to you concerning your bologna flying spaghetti monster. If we are created in the image of what you believe God to be, we would look like spaghetti. Common sense is a valuable asset"
I really enjoy reading an ignorant fundamentalist try to reason that there is evidence of Intelligent Design but none for evolution. Even the Vatican has come out against teaching religion in schools, besides which it doesn't discount the possibility of evolution.

From http://www.catholic.com/library/Adam_Eve_and_Evolution.asp

Concerning biological evolution, the Church does not have an official position on whether various life forms developed over the course of time. However, it says that, if they did develop, then they did so under the impetus and guidance of God, and their ultimate creation must be ascribed to him. Concerning human evolution, the Church has a more definite teaching. It allows for the possibility that man’s body developed from previous biological forms, under God’s guidance, but it insists on the special creation of his soul. Pope Pius XII declared that "the teaching authority of the Church does not forbid that, in conformity with the present state of human sciences and sacred theology, research and discussions . . . take place with regard to the doctrine of evolution, in as far as it inquires into the origin of the human body as coming from pre-existent and living matter—[but] the Catholic faith obliges us to hold that souls are immediately created by God" (Pius XII, Humani Generis 36). So whether the human body was specially created or developed, we are required to hold as a matter of Catholic faith that the human soul is specially created; it did not evolve, and it is not inherited from our parents, as our bodies are.
- posted by Jasper @ 6:43 AM 0 comments

 
via Fark: Scientology strikes again
Clearwater man at odds with Church of Scientology

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A man who is making a documentary about the Church of Scientology in Clearwater says he's being targeted.Shawn Lonsdale of Clearwater got into a fight with someone claiming to be a Scientologist while he was filming on a street corner across from the church on July 8. After looking at Lonsdale's videotape, police arrested the Scientologist, Michael Fitzgerald, on battery charges Now, posters with a mugshot of Lonsdale are popping up in store windows near the church warning people that he's dangerous and has been arrested for sex crimes.

Not only a cult, but a vindictive one. In Germany they are not even recognized as a religion--it's a business.
- posted by Jasper @ 7:06 PM 0 comments

 
I should be a damn genius.....
Lack of sleep saps men's brain power
11:00 23 July 2006
New Scientist

IF YOU have ever thought you were stupid to sleep with someone, consider this. Sharing your bed could actually make you stupid if you are a man - at least temporarily. Even without having sex, bed sharing disturbs sleep quality, say Gerhard Kloesch and colleagues from the University of Vienna, Austria. Men and women fared differently. ......Lack of sleep led to increased stress hormone levels in men, and reduced their ability to perform simple cognitive tests the next day.
However, the women apparently slept more deeply when they did sleep, since they claimed to be more refreshed than their sleep time suggested. Their stress levels and mental scores did not suffer to the same extent.
How unfair...I have to do the time and don't even get to commit the crime.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:56 AM 0 comments

 
Sounds like a dirty joke but it isn't
Man robs fudge shop wearing women’s underwear as mask
July 22, 2006
PRAIRIE VILLAGE, Kan. – A man is caught on video robbing a local store using women’s underwear as a mask.
What the hell is wrong with people? Insert we're not in Kansas anymore joke here.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:46 AM 1 comments

 
Football season is almost here!
I like baseball and college basketball (the NBA is a sinking morass of overpaid "stars" and players with ironbound-team-handicapping contracts) but the NFL is my favorite. Yeah, there are plenty of overhyped players(Mannings, T.O., etc) but it's the best run league by far.

One thing I don't understand, why is Peyton "Heimlich" Manning such a bid deal? Great numbers in the regular season-with a strong team-but when it hits the fan what is he worth?
(2000 - 2005)
Peyton Manning 3-5
Tom Brady 10-1

And don't even get me started on his brother or his stupid commercials. Yes, Peyton has great skills but shut up until you put it up.

- posted by Jasper @ 5:19 PM 0 comments

 
Government tries to regulate free speech, fire teacher

Teacher under fire for his Cheney-9/11 theory

State legislators demand college bar him from teaching Islam course Friday, July 21, 2006; Posted: 2:29 p.m. EDT (18:29 GMT)
MADISON, Wisconsin (AP) -- More than 60 state lawmakers are urging the University of Wisconsin-Madison to fire an instructor who has argued that the U.S. government orchestrated the September 11 terrorist attacks.

It's not that I agree with the guy, but why are "52 Assembly representatives and nine state senators" telling this guy that he can't speak his mind? The government is supposed to defend the First Amendment. Empty headed patriotism like this is a small step from fascism. Maybe people are upset because he's a teacher? That just makes it more important. Are educators only allowed to speak positively of the government? Yes, comrades!? STFU. Go to college, hear different viewpoints, form your own opinion--that's an education.

• "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". Evelyn Beatrice Hall writing as S.G. Tallentyre in 1906 (Commonly attributed to Voltaire of whom Hall wrote a biography).
• "...if any opinion is compelled to silence, that opinion may, for aught we can certainly know, be true. To deny this is to assume our own infallibility." John Stuart Mill, On Liberty (1859).
• "If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." - George Orwell, Preface to Animal Farm (1946)
• "Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you're in favor of free speech, then you're in favor of freedom of speech precisely for views you despise. Otherwise, you're not in favor of free speech." Noam Chomsky, Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media (1992).

Thanks to Wikipedia for the quotations.
- posted by Jasper @ 4:48 PM 0 comments

 
No....he can't follow Nicholson!
Heath Ledger cast as Joker in "Batman 2"?
POSTED ON 07/20/06 AT 4:00 P.M.BY ETHAN AAMES
Latino Review (http://www.latinoreview.com/) is claiming that Heath Ledger has been cast as the Joker in the "Batman Begins" sequel and an announcement from Warner Bros. is expected shortly.
The site, who broke news of Brandon Routh's casting in "Superman Returns," says that plans are in place for the "Brokeback Mountain" star to join Christian Bale and director Chris Nolan for the next Batman movie.
I don't care about the Brokeback Mountain thing, I just don't see this guy as the Joker--and there is no way in hell he can follow Nicholson. But Brokeback Joker does sound funny...
- posted by Jasper @ 9:32 AM 0 comments

 
via FARK: Finally, a good fatwa
Saudi fatwa: Don’t support Hizbullah
ynet news
Leading Wahhabi cleric in Saudi Arabia issues scathing fatwa against Hizbullah, declares it against Muslim Sharia law to support, join, or even pray for terror group; 'our advice to Sunnis is to denounce them, shun those who join them to show their hostility to Islam, to Muslims,' he rules.
Although the fanatics of Islam are a minority, the peaceful majority rarely speak up to denounce their violent actions. At least I rarely hear of it. Usually it's someone declaring a fatwa against Salman Rusdie, some cartoonist, Mr. Peanut, or something suprising. So two thumbs up for this guy, I don't care if he's anti or pro U.S. as long as he's anti-terrorist and steps up to the podium.
- posted by Jasper @ 9:10 AM 0 comments