Bush outlines $7.1 billion flu pandemic strategy

Program calls for increased bird immigration paperwork, psychics to protect wealthy Americans
The Associated Press
Updated: 11:24 a.m. ET Nov. 1, 2005

WASHINGTON - President Bush outlined a $7.1 billion strategy Tuesday to prepare for the danger of a pandemic influenza outbreak, saying he wanted to “make sure these filthy birds and their WMD’s aren’t able to threaten the upper class US citizens or minorities in my administration”.
The president also said the United States must approve greater powers of surveillance as well as search and seizure to its agents in an effort to combat the increasing numbers of birds that are crossing our borders, in most cases filling out little or no paperwork.
Bush said no one knows when or where a deadly strain of flu will strike but “at some point we are likely to face another bird related emergency. I mean…have you ever seen a pelican up close? Their mouths are huge; it’s obvious they want to destroy our way of life---Have you ever seen a pelican in church for gosh sake?”
The president, in a speech at the National Institutes of Health, said the United States must be prepared to detect outbreaks anywhere in the world, and he is currently trying to hire renowned psychic Miss Cleo to help him pinpoint future outbreaks before they happen.

- posted by Jasper @ 8:38 AM