Lunatic Swine
Friday, April 29, 2005
I love the Weekly World News!
DEADLY NEW CREATURES LIVE IN SMOG!
Health officials claim Smoglodytes have killed over 36,000 in Mexico City -- and warn: The death toll is expected to be even higher in L.A. and other large cities.
UNIVERSITY scientists have discovered a bizarre new airborne life form that has evolved in smog -- and they warn it poses a potentially deadly health threat to all Americans. Dubbed smoglodytes by researchers, the tiny microorganisms are now being blamed for a host of medical woes, ranging from asthma attacks and whooping cough to emphysema.... the White House has labeled scientists' report on the startling February 22 discovery "classified."
- posted by Jasper @ 6:33 AM 0 comments
Sad news
Munch masterpieces destroyed?
The Munch masterpieces "The Scream" and "Madonna" have been incinerated, according to newspaper Dagbladet, citing criminal sources and a top secret police report.
Not that I'm a huge fan, it's just too bad they're gone forever.
- posted by Jasper @ 6:27 AM 0 comments
Zoo Reverses Vasectomy on Bush Dogs
No comment really, just a great headline, something H.S. Thompson would have liked.
- posted by Jasper @ 6:25 AM 0 comments
Celtics revert to form, now down 2-1 to Pacers
After that blowout win in Game 1, I was a little nervous that our Celtics had changed. Now with two straight losses to a team they embarrassed in Game 1 I feel secure that their decade long run of mediocrity is intact!
- posted by Jasper @ 6:17 AM 0 comments
Thursday, April 28, 2005
About damn time
Florida Governor Signs Deadly Force Law
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush signed a new anti-crime law on Tuesday that allows people to kill in self-defense without first trying to flee.
I remember reading about a case where a man was on trial for killing an intruder while defending himself and his home. Because he didn't try to flee first?!? Finally, a Bush does makes a good decision.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:43 AM 0 comments
Phil Jackson may coach in the NBA again
Who f@cking cares? Yes, he can take talented teams all the way. But has he ever taken a less than powerhouse team anywhere? Gee, a Jordan led team to the championship? Or the Kobe and Shaq version of the Lakers? Big deal. Could Dr. Phil have taken Detriot to the same level? I doubt it.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:27 AM 0 comments
Kevin Smith reviews SW III
Very positive, also lots of spoilers.
Revenge of the Sith is, quite simply, fucking awesome......
As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:19 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Create your own proverb.
Just supply the topic. Some of the better results:
- Don't put all your severed heads in one basket.
- Strike while the bush is hot.
- Bush makes the world go round.
- Fight chowder with chowder.
- A woman's place is in the panties.
- Charity begins in the panties.
- posted by Jasper @ 1:28 PM 0 comments
George Hayduke's revenge techniques
Sample treat on the subject of candy:"...get some blood-inflated ticks and
chocolate-coat candy them. Let them ripen a week. Serve them to your mark.
They burst in the mark's mouth, not in your hand."
- posted by Jasper @ 9:37 AM 0 comments
Former NFL player Shakespeare killed
Unfortunately it isn't Deon Sanders and his pimp suits that passed away.
- posted by Jasper @ 9:16 AM 1 comments
Large collection of "Priceless" pics
You've probably seen a few, but who knows when you're neighbor or co-worker will pop up there?
- posted by Jasper @ 5:44 AM 0 comments
Twinkies turn 75
And the originals are still good to eat! After the holocaust, it will be the mutated twinkies and their cockroack masters that rule the world.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:33 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Who would win: Tiger vs Crocodile?
Click the link to find out, nothing too gruesome.
- posted by Jasper @ 1:01 PM 0 comments
Random Crap
A fairly large site of random pictures, i.e. a time waster.
- posted by Jasper @ 10:12 AM 0 comments
Man Tells Police He Locked Dead Mother In Freezer For Years
What's the problem with this, seriously? The real problem is we're being held hostage by pc thugs!
- posted by Jasper @ 10:09 AM 0 comments
Mystery of the exploding toads
Visitors to Hamburg parks are being warned to watch out for exploding toads. In an unconnected story, Tom Cruise's ass explodes.
- posted by Jasper @ 10:07 AM 0 comments
Cape Week is almost upon us!
Who is sober enough to win Trout Rock this year?
- posted by Jasper @ 9:46 AM 0 comments
Glenn Opland to marry!
13:18 Here is wisdom. He who has understanding, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. His number is six hundred sixty-six.
- posted by Jasper @ 9:30 AM 0 comments
