George just doesn't get it
Adult stem cells restorefeeling in paraplegic
Apparent major breakthroughwith patient paralyzed 19 years
Posted: September 28, 20051:00 a.m. Eastern

In an apparent major breakthrough, scientists in Korea report using umbilical cord blood stem cells to restore feeling and mobility to a spinal-cord injury patient.
Thank goodness we have George Bush to protect us from things like this.
- posted by Jasper @ 4:52 AM 0 comments

 
Big Surprise!
Ex-FEMA chief lashes out at critics
Mary Curtius, Los Angeles Times
September 28, 2005 FEMA0928

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown gave an emotional, sometimes angry account Tuesday of what went wrong with the government's response to Hurricane Katrina, blaming much of the failure on Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin.
Ex-FEMA boss Brown uses innovative "it wasn't my fault" defense, expected to revolutionize defense strategies everywhere.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:17 AM 0 comments

 
The Gathering is in Vegas, not New York
Police: Driver aimed at crowd
Driver accused of assaulting his mother

Thursday, September 22, 2005; Posted: 8:31 p.m. EDT (00:31 GMT)
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP) -- The driver of a stolen car who authorities say deliberately plowed into pedestrians on the Las Vegas Strip, killing two and injuring a dozen others, will face charges of murder and attempted murder.

Witnesses said the driver, Stephen M. Ressa, 27, of Rialto, California, accelerated as he drove along the crowded casino sidewalk, Deputy Police Chief Greg McCurdy said.
Apparently the Kurgan is in Las Vegas, police advise civilians to head to holy ground.
- posted by Jasper @ 5:08 AM 0 comments

 
Define hypocrite
Arnold: I'd 'kill' anyone who took daughter for abortion
Governor addresses California's parental-notification ballot initiative
September 22, 200512:23 p.m. Eastern

© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com

Addressing a California ballot initiative, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said he would "kill" anyone who took one of his daughters to have an abortion without notifying him.
It's not like I thought he was a genius, but this is down on Bush's level. Killing someone because you don't believe in abortion? Can't he see anything inconsistent here?
- posted by Jasper @ 4:59 AM 0 comments

 
Holy understatement of the day!
Farmer 'breaks' penis

A newly married Romanian farmer fractured his penis after ogling his young wife while carrying a heavy sack of grain.

Farmer Gheorghe Popa, 52, from Galati, had been moving the grain sacks to the barn when he stopped to watch his 25-year-old wife Loredana hang up the washing.....Doctor Nicolae Bacalbasa said: "It was a bizarre accident, and he was in a lot of pain.
No kidding, I was in a lot of pain just reading about it.
- posted by Jasper @ 4:53 AM 0 comments

 
Christopher Reeves legacy
Danes provide prostitutes for the disabled

The Danish government is under attack for paying for its disabled citizens to have sex with prostitutes. The official 'Sex, irrespective of disability' campaign pays sex workers to provide sex once a month for disabled people.

The legal guidelines advise: "It could be of great importance that the carer speaks to the prostitute together with the person in their care, to help them express their wishes."

Reeves makes Danish brothels handicap accessible? I thought I’d seen it all, but a whorehouse with onramps!
I heard Bill Clinton is out pricing wheelchairs already.
- posted by Jasper @ 4:40 AM 0 comments

 
Email "news"
Bush declares 'war against hurricanes'
Mishandling of Katrina prompts declaration of war by idiot
September 12, 2005 Posted: 12:08 PM EST (2208 GMT)

Washington DC (CNN) – US President George Bush declared his nation was at war with hurricanes Monday as relief efforts forged ahead all along the Gulf Coast.

"Citizens of America, the state of America is in a war -- a war against hurricanes," Bush said in a nationally televised address. "It's a war that has been imposed upon us. It is not one that we have chosen to undertake. It is a war for our home."

And, sounding an ominous note not only for suspected hurricane organizations but also for the nations that may give them aid and shelter, Bush said, "We will make no distinction between the hurricanes who committed these acts, and those who harbor them."

“There's no cave deep enough for hurricanes to hide in. They can run, and they thinks they can hide, but we're not going to give up. We will smoke them out just like we got Osama bin Laden.”

President George W. Bush vowed Monday to "reveal the truth" about what he has described as the hurricanes’ weapons of mass destruction.

Bush has faced growing criticism and calls for congressional hearings about his administration's pre-war assertions on the WMD threat posed by Iraq,” But this time I have proof! I seen the pictures!” Bush announced.

"I cannot go into operational details, but I can tell you that we are going only after terrorists, hurricanes, and their infrastructures," said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a staunch Bush supporter and weather aficionado.
- posted by Jasper @ 10:14 AM 0 comments

 
Can we start cloning now?
Naked woman baffles authorites
07/09/2005 08:20 - (SA)

Hong Kong - Police in Hong Kong on Wednesday appealed for help in identifying a naked expatriate woman who has not said a word since being found sitting on the shore of the city's Victoria Harbour.
Hmmmm....a naked woman that won't talk. Priceless!
- posted by Jasper @ 4:48 AM 0 comments

 
FEMA drops refugees in wrong state
Right city, wrong state
FEMA accused of flying evacuees to wrong Charleston
Tuesday, September 6, 2005; Posted: 11:29 p.m. EDT (03:29 GMT)

(CNN) -- Add geography to the growing list of FEMA fumbles.
A South Carolina health official said his colleagues scrambled Tuesday when FEMA gave only a half-hour notice to prepare for the arrival of a plane carrying as many as 180 evacuees to Charleston.
But the plane, instead, landed in Charleston, West Virginia, 400 miles away.
Is anyone surprised? Our president isn't all that bright, why should FEMA be held to a higher standard?
- posted by Jasper @ 4:41 AM 0 comments

 
Zoinks??!
One reason to say yes to lap dancing..
Fri Sep 2, 6:59 PM ET
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An angry San Diego topless dancer pulled out a knife and stabbed a customer after he refused a lap dance, police said on Thursday.

Lawanda Dixon, 24, was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon shortly after the altercation with 33-year-old Melik Jordan at the Dream Girls Cabaret early on Wednesday, San Diego police Det. Gary Hassen said.

"He was in the club with some friends watching the shows when she came up and asked if he wanted a lap dance," Hassen said. "He said no, she got upset about it, they argued back and forth. She pulled knife out of her bag and stabbed him."
-------------------
Well, just in case anyone wanted an excuse "I didn't want to get stabbed" is better than most.
- posted by Jasper @ 8:29 AM 0 comments

 
Hooray for boobies!
Breasts may be grown in lab thanks to gene find
By Roger Highfield, Science Editor(Filed: 01/09/2005)

A gene that triggers the growth of breasts has been discovered which could one day enable technicians to grow mammary tissue in the lab for cosmetic surgery or for reconstructive surgery after breast cancer.
Great, grow them in a lab. That doesn't help me, I don't live in a lab!
- posted by Jasper @ 4:57 AM 0 comments